I like feeling good. I believe most people like feeling good, but why do we resist it so much? Why do we choose worry over peace? Why do we choose cynicism over optimism? Why do we choose to focus on a person's perceived weaknesses instead of their strengths and beauty? I've been around a few folks who insist on placing all of their attention on what's wrong with others instead of what's right. Surely I am not immune to their verbal dances and I'm sure that my 'perceived' flaws get ample attention. lol. However, as I try to ignore that type of energy I find it harder and harder to be around. It's not that I am perfect. It's not that I don't find myself sometimes fighting the same tendency, but the more focused I am on manifesting my goals the less time and space I have for non-productive energy. In my ideal world, I would be equipped to love others through their pain and not let the negativity impact me so deeply.
Over the past few months I've come across some of the most positive people I've ever met. And over the past few weeks I've received calls and emails of support that sound like a 'Tony Robbins Motivational Minute'. As Erykah says, 'Yall know I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit'. With my chakras wide open, I've soaked up the good energy like a sponge. Unfortunately, I haven't matured enough to be able to not also take in the not-so-positive. I don't know if that part of me will ever change. A dear musical comrade suggested that I focus less on being sensitive and more on 'protecting my sensitivities'. A business colleague told me to be mindful of the fact that my sensitivity allows me to do the work that I do and to see life from a very unique perspective. He also reminded me of what's about to go down, what's unfolding right now, right here in this very moment. I must remain focused.
I'm building a new team to help me execute my creative vision. My lawyer set up a meeting with a new manager and putting together a sound package for a booking agent. It is a really exciting time. Some really incredible musician-producers from Chicago, Paris, Virginia, and South Africa reached out. I am really sure about what I want my music to sound like and as I meet more and more artists I am realizing how crucial it is to build with people who respect you and appreciate what it is that you do. The learning curve is mad high. Keith Thomas, a keyboardist in Roanoke, took me to meet a 'master' sound engineer. Sitting in this guy's studio, listening to him talk was like going to school. He so clearly understands the science of sound that he could 'mic' a recording session by ear--no EQ. I also noticed that even in his genius he was humble, loving and kind. I imagined what it must be like to work with someone who is that evolved spiritually and emotionally. Now, he was older so he has had time to work on it, but being in his presence helped me to affirm that kind of work environment I would like to create.
Each of us has personality 'quirks' and things about us that help to define who we are. I find that as the years pass some of the things that I thought was 'hey, that's just who I am!' don't work. What do we do when who we are no longer serves us? We grind. We put in the sweat and shed the tears. We do the work. Last month I wrote a song with a singer from West Africa. We called it "None of my Business". The hook begins "What you think of me is none of my business?" I'm realizing that this song is sort of an affirmation for me. I want to get there, closer to that space of not only believing 'what you think of me is none of my business', but truly living it. (Photo: Sunset in Yamousoukro, taken on tour in Cote d'Ivoire 2007)
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